Books and those who drink them

Barbara Walters: Cra-zay

2006-09-12T15:15:00.000-04:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14801867/from/RS.3/

I blame Rosie.

Words everyone needs to hear on 9/11, 5 years later

2006-09-11T23:08:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Adam Nash for pointing me to Keith Olberman's moving, insightful commentary on our country 5 years after 9/11. Below is is the text of what he said (from http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6210240/, where it is also available in video form).

This Hole in the Ground
Half a lifetime ago, I worked in this now-empty space. And for 40 days after the attacks, I worked here again, trying to make sense of what happened, and was yet to happen, as a reporter.

All the time, I knew that the very air I breathed contained the remains of thousands of people, including four of my friends, two in the planes and -- as I discovered from those "missing posters" seared still into my soul -- two more in the Towers.

And I knew too, that this was the pyre for hundreds of New York policemen and firemen, of whom my family can claim half a dozen or more, as our ancestors.

I belabor this to emphasize that, for me this was, and is, and always shall be, personal.

And anyone who claims that I and others like me are "soft,"or have "forgotten" the lessons of what happened here is at best a grasping, opportunistic, dilettante and at worst, an idiot whether he is a commentator, or a Vice President, or a President.

However, of all the things those of us who were here five years ago could have forecast -- of all the nightmares that unfolded before our eyes, and the others that unfolded only in our minds -- none of us could have predicted this.

Five years later this space is still empty.
Five years later there is no memorial to the dead.
Five years later there is no building rising to show with proud defiance that we would not have our America wrung from us, by cowards and criminals.
Five years later this country's wound is still open.
Five years later this country's mass grave is still unmarked.
Five years later this is still just a background for a photo-op.

It is beyond shameful.

At the dedication of the Gettysburg Memorial -- barely four months after the last soldier staggered from another Pennsylvania field -- Mr. Lincoln said, "we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract."

Lincoln used those words to immortalize their sacrifice.

Today our leaders could use those same words to rationalize their reprehensible inaction. "We cannot dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground." So we won't.

Instead they bicker and buck pass. They thwart private efforts, and jostle to claim credit for initiatives that go nowhere. They spend the money on irrelevant wars, and elaborate self-congratulations, and buying off columnists to write how good a job they're doing instead of doing any job at all.

Five years later, Mr. Bush, we are still fighting the terrorists on these streets. And look carefully, sir, on these 16 empty acres. The terrorists are clearly, still winning.

And, in a crime against every victim here and every patriotic sentiment you mouthed but did not enact, you have done nothing about it.

And there is something worse still than this vast gaping hole in this city, and in the fabric of our nation. There is its symbolism of the promise unfulfilled, the urgent oath, reduced to lazy execution.

The only positive on 9/11 and the days and weeks that so slowly and painfully followed it was the unanimous humanity, here, and throughout the country. The government, the President in particular, was given every possible measure of support.

Those who did not belong to his party -- tabled that.
Those who doubted the mechanics of his election -- ignored that.
Those who wondered of his qualifications -- forgot that.

History teaches us that nearly unanimous support of a government cannot be taken away from that government by its critics. It can only be squandered by those who use it not to heal a nation's wounds, but to take political advantage.

Terrorists did not come and steal our newly-regained sense of being American first, and political, fiftieth. Nor did the Democrats. Nor did the media. Nor did the people.

The President -- and those around him -- did that.

They promised bi-partisanship, and then showed that to them, "bi-partisanship" meant that their party would rule and the rest would have to follow, or be branded, with ever-escalating hysteria, as morally or intellectually confused, as appeasers, as those who, in the Vice President's words yesterday, "validate the strategy of the terrorists."

They promised protection, and then showed that to them "protection" meant going to war against a despot whose hand they had once shaken, a despot who we now learn from our own Senate Intelligence Committee, hated al-Qaida as much as we did.

The polite phrase for how so many of us were duped into supporting a war, on the false premise that it had 'something to do' with 9/11 is "lying by implication."

The impolite phrase is "impeachable offense."

Not once in now five years has this President ever offered to assume responsibility for the failures that led to this empty space, and to this, the current, curdled, version of our beloved country.

Still, there is a last snapping flame from a final candle of respect and fairness: even his most virulent critics have never suggested he alone bears the full brunt of the blame for 9/11.

Half the time, in fact, this President has been so gently treated, that he has seemed not even to be the man most responsible for anything in his own administration.

Yet what is happening this very night?

A mini-series, created, influenced -- possibly financed by -- the most radical and cold of domestic political Machiavellis, continues to be televised into our homes.

The documented truths of the last fifteen years are replaced by bald-faced lies; the talking points of the current regime parroted; the whole sorry story blurred, by spin, to make the party out of office seem vacillating and impotent, and the party in office, seem like the only option.

How dare you, Mr. President, after taking cynical advantage of the unanimity and love, and transmuting it into fraudulent war and needless death, after monstrously transforming it into fear and suspicion and turning that fear into the campaign slogan of three elections? How dare you -- or those around you -- ever "spin" 9/11?

Just as the terrorists have succeeded -- are still succeeding -- as long as there is no memorial and no construction here at Ground Zero.

So, too, have they succeeded, and are still succeeding as long as this government uses 9/11 as a wedge to pit Americans against Americans.

This is an odd point to cite a television program, especially one from March of 1960. But as Disney's continuing sell-out of the truth (and this country) suggests, even television programs can be powerful things.

And long ago, a series called "The Twilight Zone" broadcast a riveting episode entitled "The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street."

In brief: a meteor sparks rumors of an invasion by extra-terrestrials disguised as humans. The electricity goes out. A neighbor pleads for calm. Suddenly his car -- and only his car -- starts. Someone suggests he must be the alien. Then another man's lights go on. As charges and suspicion and panic overtake the street, guns are inevitably produced. An "alien" is shot -- but he turns out to be just another neighbor, returning from going for help. The camera pulls back to a near-by hill, where two extra-terrestrials are seen manipulating a small device that can jam electricity. The veteran tells his novice that there's no need to actually attack, that you just turn off a few of the human machines and then, "they pick the most dangerous enemy they can find, and it's themselves."

And then, in perhaps his finest piece of writing, Rod Serling sums it up with words of remarkable prescience, given where we find ourselves tonight: "The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices, to be found only in the minds of men.

"For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own -- for the children, and the children yet unborn."

When those who dissent are told time and time again -- as we will be, if not tonight by the President, then tomorrow by his portable public chorus -- that he is preserving our freedom, but that if we use any of it, we are somehow un-American...When we are scolded, that if we merely question, we have "forgotten the lessons of 9/11"... look into this empty space behind me and the bi-partisanship upon which this administration also did not build, and tell me:

Who has left this hole in the ground?

We have not forgotten, Mr. President.

You have.

May this country forgive you.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6210240/

Sitting in classes you’re dropping provides a good excuse to blog

2006-09-05T11:24:00.000-04:00

I’m writing this post from WB 101, sitting listening to GRob drone on about spectrum allocation and waiting for LawReg to open up. Today is the last day of add/drop for the last fall semester of the last year of school I’ll ever have. I thought this would be a good time to finally update my blog – it’s only been two months. :)

So here goes, in no particular order:

1) I’m back in school. Classes are classes, but they are fairly good for me. Con History with someone as smart as Socrates himself teaching it. Federal Income Tax with my personal hero and the former head of the Office of Tax Policy at Treasury. Immigration Law. Law & Higher Education. And some other classes that I’ll probably drop. Being a 3L, for registration purposes, is awesome, because I get to pick what I want.
2) Moot Court starts in 45 minutes. At noon, Josh & I pick up the packet that will drive my life for the next two weeks, while we research and write our 50 page quarterfinal appellate brief.
3) New York was fun. I had a great experience, and loved the firm and everyone I met. But I’m happy to be back in school, believe it or not. Too much weight gain as a summer associate!
4) Life in Cville is better than this time last year. It’s comfortable now. I have great friends and am enjoying life. I’m genuinely happy to be back.

I’ll do a better job of keeping this updated. I promise!

Life

2006-07-02T20:28:00.000-04:00

Well, I've sucked at this blogging thing as of late. Truly, until this weekend, this summer has been the busiest I've ever been in my life. I worked in NYC until June 12, when I headed down to DC for 3 weeks there. Now I'm back in NY, and here for the rest of the summer. I've enjoyed being back in DC and seeing so many wonderful friends, but I know the city so well. New York is still new to me, so it's good to be back with the opportunity to explore it more.

This has been an emotionally draining weekend for me with good and sad news from very dear friends. I am starting to realize that I am growing older in a number of ways - people I know are dealing with very real issues. I miss being a kid.

Anyway, I am going to do a better job of updating this for the rest of the summer, I promise!

I'm still alive

2006-05-24T23:07:00.000-04:00

Sorry I've sucked so much at keeping this thing updated -- I just got internet access working in my apartment in NY. I'm having a great time though! I'll have an update soon -- telling you all about my job, apartment, new iPod, and fun times in Manhattan. Photos of last nights Mets game and the new Apple store in the front of our building are coming, too!

2006-05-14T06:49:00.000-04:00

Start spreading the news
I'm leaving today
I want to be a part of it, New York, New York
These vagabond shoes
Are longing to stray
And make a brand new start of it
New York, New York
I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.

I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.

Take That, Caleb Nelson

2006-05-11T18:58:00.000-04:00

I'm almost sad, really, that it's over. I feel as if I could write three more Mass Torts exams, tackle seven more Evidence hypos, and contemplate Fed Courts-induced suicide at least once more. But alas, 'tis done.

While most of my compatriots will spend tonight at the bars, scantily-clad, drinking SBA-subsidized shots, no doubt dancing in hideously inappropriate ways that will inevitably lead to sloppy walks to sloppy apartments for equally sloppy semi-conscious encounters, I think that I might stay at home and have a quiet evening of Me Time. It'll be great, really. Bought some nice, soft cheeses, a bottle of Merlot, some Swiss truffles. I'll start out the night in the bath, with scented candles, Sarah McLachlan's new album dripping out the window, oodles of moisturizing bath beads, and a copy of At First Sight, by Nicholas Sparks. (I know what you're thinking, and yes, I've already read it, but can you really ever experience feelings like that too many times? I didn't think so.) After that, it'll be into my robe and onto the couch for my yearly Meg-a-Thon: When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and The Presidio. I'll follow that up with some journal writing exercises where I pretend that Meg is speaking through me and I ask her questions and just let the answers, which are consistently enlightening and surprising, come out through my pen. Then I'm planning on devoting a few hours to solitary prayer, which I expect to do a lot of good. Just before bed, I'll weap a bit, then fell asleep feeling comforted than amidst all the insanity of law school, I still managed to find time to remember my spirit.

Yeah, I'm getting drunk tonight.

An Away Message So Great I Had to Post It

2006-05-09T15:28:00.000-04:00

Today we salute you Mr. My-Exam's-Not-'Till-Tomorrow-Why-Study-Today?

While everyone else has been freaking out for the last 72 hours and won't leave the library till its extended hours are over, you sit in your room drinking beer and watching movies. Other people may remark about your laziness or their higher GPA, but you know that it is not the A in the classroom that makes the A in womAn, but it is the D in that same classroom that stands for Damn good time. Tired from another long day of sleeping in and procrastinating? Lay back, kick off your shoes, and pop open another ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Pro-at-the-crastination, because without your apathy there would be no curve.

Singing just isn't part of the job

2006-05-09T13:06:00.000-04:00

Nightline challanges Congressmen to sing the national anthem: make sure to watch the video -- it's hilarious.

Three Down

2006-05-09T12:15:00.000-04:00

Just Fed Courts left. Probably Thursday, though if I really pushed myself, I could theoretically take it tomorrow. But since I can't concentrate today AT ALL, it looks like Thursday.

I can't wait to be done!

This is the class that never ends

2006-05-05T15:13:00.000-04:00

This was a song from last year's Libel Show. Today's operative words are underlined:

I Will Survive (Fed Courts)
(to "I Will Survive"—Gloria Gaynor)

At first I was afraid, I was terrified
Those kids from Law Review were sitting there right by my side
I spent seven hours last night trying to re-learn Marbury
I thought I’d die, If Caleb Nelson called on me

But he did not, He talks so fast
I was typing for my life, just to make it through the class
I kept looking to the clock
Wondering when I’d get a break
I paused for just a second, Thinking how my fingers ached

Go on now go, you’re in fed courts
Just settle down now, At least you’re not in torts
My hands are hurting, hope a gunner intervenes
Habeus Corpus? Who knows what the hell that means?

Two Down, Two to Go

2006-05-03T13:54:00.000-04:00

Next up: Evidence on Monday. Yay for the slow march toward progress.

One down...

2006-05-01T15:47:00.000-04:00

...three to go.

So after my Professional Responsibility exam, I promptly went to the gym where I got a parking ticket. Hopefully that's not an omen for what's still coming over the next 10 days.

I Study For This Exam.

2006-04-29T13:18:00.000-04:00

This is from Buffalo Wings & Vodka and is less relevant than when I was a 1L. That said, after my last post, a number of you have expressed concern for me. I'm alive, but stressed. This puts it in perspective:

I study for this exam.

I study for this exam knowing that it will be arbitrarily graded, that 125 papers is too much for any man to stay awake through (let alone care about), that my professor’s four-year old will be given free reign with a gigantic red crayon, and that a slight hitch in the wrist of the blindfolded chimpanzee throwing my particular dart could mean the difference between an A+ and a C+. But still, I study for this exam.

I study even though there are important football games to be watched, real books to be read, terrible wrongs to be righted, flowers to be smelled, babies to be kissed, animals to be petted. I study knowing that all over the world there are people who wake up each morning thinking “My God, it is great to be alive!” instead of “My God, there are only two days left until the exam and I haven’t done a single practice question yet I am totally fucked and should probably quit right now to save myself the pain and humiliation of being the ballast at the ass-end of the curve and flunking out please someone, anyone, HELP ME!” I know this. And I know it is wrong. But still, I study for this exam.

I study for this exam in the hopes that it might impress someone, that the girl from my section in the coffee shop will think "My, isn't he dedicated," so that my professor might, upon reading my exam, declare that I should immediately be given not only an A+, but a JD, an LLM, and a tenured professorship. I study because I believe, on some deep, visceral level, that my studying will yield an exam so perfect, so sublime, so deserving of the highest imaginable praise that Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., himself will show up on my doorstep and ask to shake my hand. And I study because I have not yet let go of the delusion that I might be the one who breaks the cycle, who ends up pleased with his grades, who makes it to February still liking law school. Irrational? Yes. Delusional? Certainly. Will that stop me? Not likely.

Because as the hours continue to melt away, each one taking with it another ounce of self respect, another shred of dignity, I am certain of very little. I'm not sure why I came here, I don't know where I'm going, and as of this moment I'm only marginally confident that I can remember my own name. But, when this is all over, let it not be denied that, if nothing else, I did indeed, study for this exam.

See you May 13

2006-04-25T10:18:00.000-04:00

I probably won't be posting anything between now and the end of exams... with 222 pages of single spaced notes for almost 92,000 words for one class alone, along with three other exams to take and a paper to write & present, I'm a bit busy for the next few weeks. I probably won't be on AIM much either. Please don't feel like I'm ignoring you, and I promise I'll be back with blogging fun as soon as summer is here!

Picture of the Year

2006-04-22T15:27:00.000-04:00

The Vice President says he wasn't sleeping through the visit of the President of China... looks to me like Lynne kept him up too late last night :).

Yes, a third post in one day

2006-04-20T18:17:00.000-04:00

But it's National High Five Day. That's worth a post, in my book.

Ahhh, Craigslist

2006-04-20T10:57:00.000-04:00

Via Wonkette:

Hot Congressman at Murky Coffee in Clarendon - m4m

Reply to: pers-152674554@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-04-19, 5:37PM EDT

You can legislate me any time! Just press the button and I'll be a "Yay" for you anytime...

How Congressional Staffers Really Feel When They're Doing Mail

2006-04-20T09:39:00.000-04:00

Hate to be the staffer that did this:

Emerson puzzled how obscenity appeared in letter to constituent

WASHINGTON (AP) - Nobody expects to get a letter from a member of Congress that ends with an expletive.

But that's what happened when Rep. Jo Ann Emerson, R-Mo., recently corresponded with a resident of her southeast Missouri district. The letter ended with a profane, seven-letter insult beginning with the letter a - "i think you're an ..."

Emerson says she can't explain how the offensive language made it into the last line of the letter, which otherwise reads like a typical response to a citizen's question about last year's testimony of oil executives before the Senate Commerce Committee.

"There is no excuse for this inappropriate letter having been sent, and every apology has been made to the individual who received it," Emerson said in a written statement to The Associated Press.

"We cannot determine whether the addition to the letter was made by someone within the office or by someone with access to the office, but it is on my letterhead and the responsibility for it lies with me. A valuable lesson has been learned and new procedures will be adopted as a result."

Spokesman Jeff Connor said the new measures include locking down all computer workstations when they are not being used, increasing the editing of outgoing mail and reviewing policies on who has access to the office.

Each staff member working in Emerson's office will also be required to take a mandatory seminar on professionalism, Connor said.

"No one has been disciplined at this time because we are not yet able to identify the person responsible," Connor said.

The man who received the letter, Bill Jones, of Centerville, Mo., declined to comment to the AP when reached by phone at his home on Wednesday.

Emerson's office first learned about the letter early this week and her chief of staff, Lloyd Smith, paid a visit to Jones on Wednesday morning to examine the letter. He determined that the offensive language looks like it was added in the congresswoman's office, Connor said.

Emerson's office does not keep a copy of constituent correspondence once letters are mailed out, Connor said. That leaves Jones as the only one with an original version.

A copy of the letter made its way to the Missouri Democratic Party, which faxed it to the AP.

Connor said that Emerson personally signed the letter, dated Feb. 15. She also included a handwritten personal message at the bottom: "PS - please forgive the delay in responding."

And now for a little inside baseball…

2006-04-18T15:39:00.000-04:00

If you aren’t in any of my classes this semester, this post probably won’t mean much for you… but I’m trying to figure out my exam schedule. Here’s my tentative plan:

Thursday, April 27: Present Social Security Paper
Monday, May 1: Mass Torts
Thursday, May 4: Professional Responsibility
Monday, May 8: Evidence (Fixed)
Thursday, May 11 or Friday, May 12: Fed Courts
Monday, May 15: Begin work in NY
June 12: Social Security Paper Due (which should also be about the time I start in DC)

Fed Courts is definitely going to be my most difficult exam, and as a result I think I have no choice but to take it first or last – especially considering that I think I’ll get the same grade no matter how much I study. I think that Mass Torts will be mostly policy based – there’s such a little amount of doctrine – so I think I might take it first. Evidence and PR will both require a substantial amount of studying – after all, I’ve literally done no work in PR thus far. And in the context of all of that, I’d like to get as much of my paper done as possible so that I’m not taking much of it with me to the West Village.

Thoughts on if this is a strategy that makes sense?

UVA Law: Where Maturity Goes to Die

2006-04-13T18:52:00.000-04:00

So last night was Libel Show elections, and in my entire time at UVA, I’ve never been more ashamed of my fellow students. Granted, one of my best friends was up for election last night, so read what I’m about to say through that lens of bias.

But people before, during, and after the vote were downright mean. Needlessly so, in ways that were hurtful to people – and not only in the meeting itself (where it’s a farce to believe that every detail of what’s discussed isn’t going to get back to those involved), but in some of the most ridiculous ways after the fact (see, e.g., blog postings).

The players in this drama know exactly what I’m referring to, so there’s really no sense in rehashing details. All I’ll say is this: we’re not in 8th grade here. We’re at one of the top law schools in the country, admitted in large part because we are seen as the leaders of tomorrow.

Sorry to say, we have a lot to learn.

This pic is not fake

2006-04-11T23:11:00.000-04:00

Rather, it's actually from Bill Frist's PAC Website.

I'm scared. But not nearly as scared as the thought of what's on his iPod.

To that end, Wonkette has a poll going of what's on the pod. Some of the top suggestions so far:

Husker Du — “How to Skin a Cat”
The Mountain Goats — “The Bad Doctor”
Led Zeppelin — “Immigrant Song”
Waylon Jennings — “Nashville Bum”

Thoughts on this pressing national concern are, as always, welcome.

Best News Ever

2006-04-09T13:16:00.000-04:00

They are building a Chipotle in Charlottesville! It's going to go in the parking lot right in front of Harris Teeter--so it's close to the law school, too. My life is now complete.

Pathetic? Perhaps. But as long as I can get my order of pathetic with a side of guac, I'm a happy guy.

Lubbock, TX as told by those who see it through the eyes of Texas Tech

2006-04-08T18:50:00.000-04:00

TEXAS TECH UNIVERSITY

I live on a piece of dirt so flat that we call the four degree incline at the intersection of 19th and Brownfield "the Big Hill". I get dirt in my eyes, hair, and teeth when I walk to class. I can out drink anyone from any other school because that is what we do best. If I'm not drunk by 4:30pm I'm high. I can't buy beer within 50 miles of where I live - so I trek to the strip, which my friends and I all consider a true paradise on Earth. I don't go to many football games. I don't go to any organizational meetings. I don't really go to anything. Not even class. I like the fact that Will Rogers' horse's ass points to College Station. I fry cow balls. I know where Buddy Holly used to live. I am desperately trying to find a rival within our conference to make fun of. Our football players get caught by the NCAA. If I'm not drunk by 4:30pm, I'm high. But I'm usually drunk by 4:30pm. Or I'm high. And what the hell is that smell?

I am a Red Raider.

Ugh.

2006-04-06T23:25:00.000-04:00

The next six weeks are going to suck. :(

The Real Problem With Bush's Approval Raitings...

2006-04-04T13:42:00.000-04:00

He kind of throws like a girl.

NYC Weekend and Good News

2006-04-03T15:16:00.000-04:00

Went to NYC this weekend for my firm's summer orientation weekend, and had a blast. My fellow summers are all really cool, as are all the attorneys I met. Saturday, I was out with them until 4 am, going to a cocktail hour, dinner, and after party in midtown, and an after-after party in the East Village. Earlier in the day, we had presentations from all of the practice groups -- I think that I'm going to do work in litigation (with a focus on appellate, antitrust, and media--my firm is the chief outside counsel for CBS) along with bankruptcy for the summer. Overall, I'm getting extremely excited -- I can't wait to get up there.

And, while I was there, I got great news from down here: my partner & I advanced in Moot Court! We are now one of eight teams left in the competition. The next round is in the fall, so nothing new between now and exams, which is a huge relief, especially considering I just got assigned a cite check. Ick.

Quin sure seems to have fallen on hard times

2006-03-30T10:04:00.000-05:00

Now that Mizzou finally has a new head coach, things sure seem to have gotten bad for Quin. Thanks to Drew for pointing me to this...

I hope this doesn't catch on here

2006-03-29T17:13:00.000-05:00

I know that Kraus has already done this here, but I sure hope it's not a trend. I find it hilarious, though, that they are putting a petition forward with the ABA. Oh, and by the way, I'm writing this post in class.

MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) -- A University of Memphis law professor has banned laptop computers from her classroom and her students are passing a petition against it.

Professor June Entman says her main concern is that students are so busy keyboarding they can't think and analyze what she's telling them.

Students have begun collecting signatures on petitions and tried unsuccessfully to file a complaint with the American Bar Association.

Student Cory Winsett says if he must continue without his laptop, he'll transfer to another school. Winsett says he won't be able to keep up if he has to rely on hand-written notes, which he says are incomplete and less organized.

New York lawyers know how to party

2006-03-29T14:01:00.000-05:00

This is the week of all things New York for me. Monday was my firm's 1L reception at Fuel, after which the all the lawyers (including the partner in charge of the summer program) joined last year's Summer Associates for dinner and drinks at Blue Light. After that, we journeyed over to South Street for more drinks, and after that, went to the house of one of last year's Summer Associates for beer pong. It was the strangest scene ever -- partners of one of the top New York law firms typing on Blackberries between shots -- and kept me out until almost 3 am on a Monday night when I had Fed Courts at 9 am the next day. But it was a really good time.

Friday, I leave for NYC for the firm's orientation weekend. It should be a really good time--lots of firm-paid drinking time built into the schedule at some of NYC's swankiest restaurants. I'm going to do some apartment hunting while I'm there, and hopefully get to hang out with some of my NYC friends.

Yes, it is getting progressivley harder for me to concentrate on school. Despite the 2.5 I'm convinced I'm going to make this semester, I'm getting excited for exams to get here so I can get on to the business of the summer!

The Libel Show in Pictures

2006-03-25T15:25:00.000-05:00

We just finished the 2006 Libel Show, the 3 1/2 hour parody musical of life at the law school. If you'd like to see the full Facebook photo album, click here... but here's the highlights:

Me as the young Professor John Harrison.

The singers from "I Love Libel Show," the opening song of Act II.

Every year, the faculty does a few songs to make fun of the students -- here's Professor Cohen leading the faculty backstage.

The cast of John Harrison Masterpiece Theater.

Scary rockers.

Josh and Nate about to go on.

This Needs to Happen to Nancy Grace

2006-03-24T12:10:00.000-05:00

For all you broadcast journalists out there, just be glad you don't work at Headline News. Via Wonkette, here's video of a fire on the HN set that causes the anchors to walk off the set.

Fire Mike Alden

2006-03-23T09:27:00.000-05:00

The search for a new Mizzou coach has become even more bungled than before... more proof that Mike Alden, while a great politician and fundraiser, is completely unable manage people.

OK, I'm sitting in class -- I guess I should listen. A big update is coming as soon as I finish Libel Show week tomorrow night.

Still Alive

2006-03-22T10:44:00.000-05:00

This is Libel Show week, so I am barely breathing -- 9 am classes and sitting in Caplin Auditorum from 7pm-Midnight every night is not a very easy way to keep one's blog in order. More updates soon, but I wanted to share a Dana Milbank column that has one of the best lines I've seen in some time: "Bush may be a lame duck, but he seems to be enjoying the swim."

Craigslist and the Virginia Journal of Social Policy & the Law, oh how I loathe the

2006-03-15T21:08:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to all the 1Ls that completed the unified journal tryout over the last two weekends. Now your lucky upper-class brethren get to grade these damn things. For those of you who aren’t law school nerds, here’s what this is all about. UVa law publishes nine academic journals on subjects ranging from lofty issues like environmental law, law & technology, law & business, and tax, to more fun topics, like sports & entertainment law. There is also the “Law Review,” which covers all legal topics and is quite prestigious. These journals, entirely student run, are filled with scholarly articles from professors across the country. For law professors, this writing constitutes the bulk of the publication requirements for tenure, even though the decisions of what gets published and what doesn’t are made by students.

Decisions for who gets on all journals except the Law Review are based entirely on a writing and editing competition first years complete about two-thirds of the way through the year. It’s 72 hours of hell – Friday at noon, they pick up a 13 page unedited scholarly article and correct all the citations (much harder than it sounds), and pick up a packet of about 300 pages of reading material. By Monday at noon, they have to have edited the article and written a 10 page essay based on the 300 pages of reading.

And now we get to grade them. On its own, that shouldn’t be that bad. Unfortunately, my journal was the most frequently applied-to journal this year, and my Executive Editor who shall remain nameless is organizationally just about the most incompetent person ever. Our Managing Editor promised us the first set of tryouts by the Wednesday before Spring Break. At 3:37 PM on Friday, my Exec Editor sent an e-mail to us saying the first set of tryouts were ready for pickup. My flight left Dulles at 11:30 that morning. So all this week I’ve been grading while trying to also deal with class—when I could have done them while I was bored last week. Then, today at 5:47 PM, my EE sent us an e-mail saying that the second set of tryouts were ready and that we should have them graded by…wait for it…noon tomorrow. As a result of Section A’s own Jon Mureen’s selection as Managing Editor, I turned in my EE to him for being totally incompetent and unreasonable and, at Jon's order, she has since backed off of her stupid, arbitrary deadline. Jon basically told me that she has been getting us the material 3-4 days later than he has been giving it to her. Thanks, EE from hell, for making my life miserable this week.

Also this week, I got my NYU Law School dorm housing assignment for the summer, and it left a lot to be desired. So now I’ve been stalking Craigslist 400 times a day in hopes that I can have some apartments to check out when I go to NYC in two weeks for my firm’s orientation weekend. Cross your fingers something good works out, especially because I want every single one of you to come visit me this summer and I will need something bigger than what NYU is promising me to house you :-).

So yeah, this week has been busy. Next week is the Libel Show, and then I go to New York the weekend after that, so it’s only going to get busier. April is coming fast and, except for Evidence and Fed Courts to an extent, I still haven’t consistently read for class yet. Hold on…

March Madness? More like March Sadness!

2006-03-11T01:08:00.000-05:00

I follow three college basketball teams. Ok, since I left Columbia, I don’t actually follow them at all; I’m a bandwagon jumper if there ever was one. But I think that nothing in the spring semester is more fun than March Madness, even if I have no idea going in who the teams are and who is predicted to do well. For March Madness to be truly successful, however, I have to have someone to cheer for/bandwagon jump on/play drinking games with. With three potential options, normally finding a tournament team to call my own is easy. I lived in Lubbock, TX for nine years growing up, so I’m a natural Texas Tech fan. And, of course, Mizzou and UVa are worth watching since, well, I’ve gone to both schools. All three schools have, at one time or another, been extremely successful basketball schools; making the tournament is par for the course for these programs.

Not this year. None of the three are anywhere close to the bubble.

So, I have a new poll for my faithful readers: pick me a team to cheer for during the NCAA tournament. Obviously, I will be cheering for whoever is playing against kU, but I’ve got to have something better than that. I need to channel positive energy and be FOR something, rather than simply being against something. After all, as Democrats have found for the last 12 years, just being against something is generally not a very fun or successful way to use one’s limited energy.

So, between now and the first NCAA tip-off next Thursday, you can vote on who I should cheer for by either leaving a message in comments or e-mailing me. Thursday I’ll announce the winner, and then run to Mincer's to buy obnoxious products from that school to take with me to BW3 for that day's tournament drinking. Who knows, if you all pick well, you might send me to the bar looking like the guy below (beer gut optional).

When else do Iraq, Josh Lyman, and Brokeback Mountain all fit together?

2006-03-08T23:54:00.000-05:00

As your faithful narcissist continues to catch up on the news missed while Dick Bob Did Dallas, I had to make sure these three things went up before bed.

More bad news for Bush and ‘06 incumbents: 80% of Americans expect a civil war in Iraq, including 7 in 10 Republicans; majorities in WaPo-ABC News poll have no confidence in either party to find a solution.
The cast of The West Wing was in DC over the weekend to shoot the final episode. If you heart/stalk/want to have the love children of Bradley Whitford as much as I do, you'll want to check out these.
The New York Times did a facinating story on what they termed "Brokeback Marriages," married men who do guys on the side. The best quote out of that story, by far, came from Amy Jo Remmele of Bumblefuck, MN: “I had no suspicions whatsoever. He's very masculine looking. It's not like he had Barbra Streisand or show tunes on.” And people wonder why we have a Republican Congress.

Still in Texas, but back from Big D

2006-03-08T19:46:00.000-05:00

I just got back from a whirlwind trip to Dallas – seven hours of driving each way with my mom to spend about 17 hours in the DFW metro area. While fast, it was a really enjoyable trip – I got to see my old high school debate coach and her two kids who are among my favorite high school friends – Wallace (now a Dallas lawyer) and Amy (who is about to launch a fabulous career in advertising). My mom and I aren’t fighting as much as when I first got home... of course, she took me to Ikea, so that always gets me in a good mood. We spent three hours there this morning after a lovely Le Madeline breakfast.

Dallas is not the city I remember, though. When I visited there in high school, it always seemed exciting and busy compared to sad ‘ole Lubbock. I realized this trip, however, that it is simply a giant suburb with good TV news. Part of that is an economic shift, as a lot of the area jobs are now in Plano and around the DFW Airport instead of in Dallas. That said, the entire metro area now looks relatively homogenous. From Ft. Worth to McKinney, and throughout Dallas itself, high rooflines and luxury SUVs are the order of the day. Even in the areas that used to have neighborhood character, such as Oak Lawn, the beautiful houses of the past have been bulldozed for new condos. The price of progress, perhaps, but I think it’s just a reflection of Texans, who can’t take the thought of anything less than brand new.

Wah wah. Anyway, it was a fun trip. My mom and I drove all over the city – to our old house, my old elementary school, and this morning we had breakfast a block from my dad’s old office. It was a really good trip, and took care of the boringness of the LBK.

But I’d be lying if I said anything other than the truth: I can’t wait to get back to Charlottesville.

The OC Meets the Senate Judiciary Committee

2006-03-06T17:51:00.000-05:00

Posting the link to the WSJ story below makes me think of something else I meant to link to from Wonkette last Thursday, when I was busy preparing for my crash-and-burn final oral argument for Moot Court.

According to the story, during Senate Judiciary Committee Mark-up Thursday morning, Dianne Feinstein's cellphone went off while she was giving her statement on comprehensive immigration reform.

Her ringtone? “California,” the theme from “The OC.”

There is certainly an irony in Sen. Feinstein discussing immigration reform to the tune of a song with these lyrics:

We've be on the run,
Driving in the sun,
Looking out for number one,
California, here we come

Here they come, indeed.

Much like the Wall Street Journal, I miss Ally McBeal

2006-03-06T17:25:00.000-05:00

From today's WSJ, via Wonkette:

Hopefully Dems won't actually try to impeach Bush -- no matter how bad his numbers get, it's a sure way to destroy what otherwise looks like the first promising year on its face for Democrats since, well, Carter was elected. Let's focus on winning back the House first, something that looks like a more likely outcome each day. The newest CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll shows the generic Congressional vote favoring Dems by a 14 points, 53-39.

But even if we should stay away from impeachment, those numbers are encouraging about the overall sense of the American people. Apparently folks in the Midwest have started to miss Calista Flockhart, too.

Home Sweet Home

2006-03-06T00:10:00.000-05:00

…Or not. I don’t know quite what I was thinking in coming home for spring break. The bottom line is that, while I love my parents, I’m waaaaaaay too old for this. My values have changed a lot since I left home in 2000, and their extreme, immense, endless conservatism makes me uncomfortable now. In less than 72 hours here, I’ve argued with them about pretty much everything. They drive me around like I’m 11, taking me to the mall and wanting me to watch bad old DVDs with them and play board games with them all night (though not too late, since they go to bed at 9:30).

Long story short, it was a mistake to do this, this time around. I normally really enjoy trips home, but I’m bored out of my mind this time. My own fault, to be sure, but it just doesn’t seem fun like it has in the past. I love my parents and I have a surprisingly great relationship with them considering that we don’t see eye-to-eye on, well, much of anything anymore. It’s different, though, when there isn’t a holiday in the picture – bah-ring. I really wish I’d opted for the fun party-style spring break instead… my own fault. I am going to Dallas on Tuesday to see some old friends and my high school debate coach, so that should be fun, but otherwise it’s me and the West Wing in West Texas, the unhappiest place on earth. Yes, my life is exciting.

While I was with my parents at the mall the other day, I also realized that kids today have gotten really fat. I was instructed to go to the Dillard’s kids section to do my shopping! To really put icing on the cake and make me feel like the youngest 23 year-old ever, the salesman told me “Next year, you’ll be big enough to shop in here.” Granted, I was shopping with my mother, but still, what the HELL.

Below is the link from part 3 of the Condi Rice fitness plan. When I posted part 2 on Thursday, however, I learned an important lesson about this blog – people subscribe to it on RSS! I had seven hits within 3 minutes of posting the blurb. It gave me a warm fuzzy to know that someone actually looks at this, but I’d be curious to know who you are! Please leave a comment below or send me an e-mail and tell me who you are – I’d love to know, and maybe I can try to tailor content to serve my best readers. :)

Expect lots of posts as I sit here bored over the next few days... seven days until I’m out of West Texas.

Condi's Fitness Plan, Part II

2006-03-02T12:35:00.000-05:00

Oh God, there's more here.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Your Secretary of State

2006-03-01T11:21:00.000-05:00

Well, this is a fun video indeed: if you need workout tips, you can take them from none other than the highest ranking diplomat in America. Or, as the Hotline said, "If you think Condi Rice is skilled in diplomacy, wait until you see her work a stationary bike."

Excuse me while I puke.

It's a great time to be a Democrat

2006-02-27T23:27:00.000-05:00

Bush's numbers have reached an all time low -- 34% approval. Cheney's are even lower -- 18%. Unreal.

I hope that the Daily Show picks up on this

2006-02-27T13:10:00.000-05:00

LOL -- this guy gets an A+ for creativity. From today's Politics1:

GAY ADOPTION: State Senator Robert Hagan (D-Ohio) says he will introduce legislation to ban Republican couples from adopting children. According to Hagan, "credible research'' shows that adopted children raised in GOP households are more at risk for developing "emotional problems, social stigmas, inflated egos, and alarming lack of tolerance for others they deem different than themselves and an air of overconfidence to mask their insecurities." Hagan agrees there is no scientific evidence backing his claims about Republican parents -- just, as Hagan notes, there is none backing State Representative Ron Hood's (R) bill banning gay parents from adopting. Hood claims children purportedly suffer from emotional "harm" when they are adopted by gay couples. Hagen admits he created his proposal to mock Hood's proposed ban on gay adoption in a way that people would see the "blatantly discriminatory and extremely divisive" nature of the bill. The GOP House leadership does not support Hagan's proposal.

A Post!!!

2006-02-24T17:11:00.000-05:00

So, as it turns out, I’ve really sucked at this blogging thing lately. But, in fairness, I’ve had a busy few weeks. Really, the fault lies with the guy in the bathrobe (more on why he's dressed this way below).

With me in that picture is Josh Kaplowitz, my partner for the Lile Moot Court competition. Lile is an interesting competition. It begins in the fall of the second year with essentially the entire second-year class participating, and continues until the spring of the third year with a team announced as the winner. This is the second round of the competition, where the cut goes from 32 teams to 8. Our brief, written over the span of two weeks with hundreds of pages of research and weighing in at a hefty 50 pages in its finished form, was due the 13th. I was so tired of law school after finishing it (especially considering that it was coupled with a cite check and paper for my January term class), that I basically took all of last week off. I went to some Feb Club parties, hung out with friends, and needlessly got into and out of a Debbie Downer mood about a really dumb issue.

This week, I was social because I had to be. I helped plan Monday’s Feb Club party, and Wednesday’s was hosted by four guys from my 1L section. Our section came a little early and had a potluck/reunion which was pretty fun. Thursday’s festivus was the Libel Show/SBA bowling party nicely named “The Big Libelowski” (where the above-styled bathrobe picture with Josh was taken), and I went to a little wine and cheese hosted by some undergrad friends after that.

Oh, and before the Thursday fun, we had our first of two Moot Court oral arguments. It was good times – but I’m glad to have it out of the way.

So yeah, I’ve been busy. I’ve been keeping an online photo album of Feb Club through Facebook to keep track of the debauchery with my fun new digital camera. If you’re not on Facebook, you can still see it by clicking here -- as long as you promise to e-mail me comments on the pics.

Anyway, I just wanted to post something saying that I am still alive. I’m returning to normalcy after a long few weeks, and I’ll be back with regular exercises of my narcissism soon.

Hope Springs Eternal...

2006-02-11T14:03:00.000-05:00

...on two important levels.

1) Quin Snyder - out as Mizzou's basketball Head Coach, effective immediately.

Thank GOD. Rumor in Lubbock has it Bobby Knight might be the next coach, leaving Texas Tech with much frustration. In any event, there's finally reason for the old phrase, "Livin' for next year."

2) Jim Talent - looking stupid over stem cell research.

I think that, finally, Democrats have found a wedge issue. Talent's move largely angers everyone -- his co-sponsorship of the Brownback Bill angered a number of the big-money Republicans in St. Louis, including the Danforth family (members of which include former Sen./UN Ambassador Jack and Washington University Chancellor Bill), as well as the pro-growth conservatives in Kansas City (including the Stowers Family Foundation). His move Friday angers Christian conservatives in a way that might well prompt them to stay home in November. With stem cell research likely to be on a statewide ballot in November, he had to distance himself from Brownback, but I'm not sure this was the smartest way to do so -- ads in July or August explaining his position might have been smarter, especially considering most swing voters won't pay attention enough to understand the differences in complex scientific research methodology. You can bet that Christian conservatives will.

In any event, this is a major sign that McCaskill has a serious chance of winning. Hopefully it will cause the statewide and national media to take her a little more seriously -- as she showed when she beat Holden in 2004, she is someone who should never be counted out for longshot races.

Well, this shouldn't be a big shocker

2006-02-10T11:19:00.000-05:00

SD House Approves Abortion Ban

Pierre, SD (AP) -- The South Dakota House today approved a bill that would nearly ban all abortions in the state, ushering the issue to the state Senate. Supporters are pushing the measure in hopes of drawing a legal challenge that will cause the US Supreme Court to reverse its 1973 decision legalizing abortion. The bill banning all abortions in South Dakota was passed 47-to-22 in the House. Amendments aimed at carving out exemptions for rape, incest and the health of women were rejected. The bill does contain a loophole that allows abortions if women are in danger of dying. Doctors who do those abortions could not be prosecuted.

Facebook Fiasco

2006-02-06T18:04:00.000-05:00

Those of you who know me well know that I'm obsessed with Facebook, especially since they added the ever-popular photo feature. The extremely addictive directory seems to have caused a few problems across the country, however.

Democratic Congressional Candidate and Vanderburgh, IN County Sheriff Brad Ellsworth's campaign got off to a rough start when a supporter of Rep. John Hostettler (R-IN) found Facebook pictures of Ellsworth's 19-year-old daughter...wait for it...drinking alcohol. One of the pics showed Ellsworth's daughter with beer bottles duct taped to her hands. Hostettler spokesperson Karen Hammonds: "It does illustrate the serious consequences of violating the law -- in this case it was underage drinking -- and then flaunting that violation by personally posting them."

Since I haven't seen the offensive pic, I have no way to compare it to the Missouri Student Association's new Vice President, also not 21, who had this picture posted on her Facebook profile:

She almost lost her job as student body Vice President and almost got in discipline trouble with the university under a new rule in the Student Conduct Code that underage student leaders are held to a higher standard of conduct than average students when it comes to drinking.

There's no doubt that posting pics like these is dumb--Facebook is basically a public resource. I can't help but wonder, though, if there's nothing sacred anymore. I mean, it's hardly shocking that college students drink--even those under 21. Is it too much to ask for people to chill out and recognize that things like Facebook are ways to communicate to our friends and would-be friends in an online age?

Or maybe I should just cut my losses and take down my Tiger Ear pic...

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

2006-02-06T00:10:00.000-05:00

Below is the text of an IM from earlier in the night. WHAT?

smartinigrl: hey
Avalanche526: hey
Avalanche526: who is this?
smartinigrl: well, who is this
Avalanche526: I asked first, and you IMed me :-)
smartinigrl: i imed u cuz i dont know who this is
smartinigrl: but i dont know who many ppl r bc this isnt my sn
Avalanche526: well I'm Robin Cook, i'm a 2L at UVA Law, and I enjoy long walks along the beach.
smartinigrl: well im tabitha montinelli, im a sr at HHS and I enjoy short strolls along the neighborhood swamps
Avalanche526: hhs?
Avalanche526: whose screen name is this, and how did this person get mine?
smartinigrl: hartford high school
smartinigrl: idk
Avalanche526: what state?
smartinigrl: well i gtg, sry for bothering you
smartinigrl: toodles

"But February Made Me Shiver"

2006-02-05T10:57:00.000-05:00

As it turns out, February is a really crappy time to be a law student. Fall semester grades come back. First years realize how totally unemployable they are for the upcoming summer. Second years are stuck in the library doing moot court, cite checks, and other such Bluebook fun. It’s cold, and frequently grey outside. Oh, and we’re back lugging around 80 pounds of books everywhere we go and listening to law professors drone on about privilege and other perhaps useful, definitely boring, elements of law.

How do we cope? Easy: drinking! Hence, UVA Law has an annual tradition called “Feb Club” – a theme party every single night of February. People dress up in their themed attire and go out as frequently as their livers can handle, with a few brave souls attending them all. This year, themes include “Middle School Dance,” “Wedding Crashers,” “Ski Lodge,” and “Brokeback Mountain.” If you’re curious about the themes, or looking for ideas for a theme party of your own, you can find the calendar and party descriptions here.

Unfortunately, I’m in the middle of working on Moot Court right now. Last Monday, my competition partner and I picked up a 41 page appellate record, and by next Monday, we have to turn in a brief that’s nearly 50 pages long. As a result, I’ve only been to one Feb Club party this year, and have severely neglected my blog.

So without further delay, the winner of the hottest government official contest with an overwhelming 18 votes is….

Rep. Stephanie Herseth (D-SD)

Surprisingly, the runner up was another South Dakotan, Sen. John Thune (R). South Dakota is a state where nobody lives because it’s too cold and because they don’t have a major sports franchise. But it seems that they have it better up north – a slower pace of life and unibrowless politicos. And that, my friends, is the true definition of hot.

School House Rock Rocks

2006-01-31T11:05:00.000-05:00

I just ran across a law review article called, "Injunction Junction: What's Your Function?" For some reason, I can't stop laughing.

I lead a life of quiet desperation.

These are a Few of the Most Random Things

2006-01-30T11:08:00.000-05:00

Over the past few days, I’ve noticed a number of quite random things in sleepy 'ole Cville that are worth sharing.

Jews for Jesus: In my Fed Courts readings for today, the authors cite to Board of Airport Commissioners v. Jews for Jesus, Inc., 482 US 569. Jews for Jesus? Wouldn’t that make them… Christians?
An Ambulaxi? I got stuck following a private ambulance down 29 last night, and couldn’t help but notice that its license plate said “Taxicab” on it. While I guess that’s technically true—riders pay for a ride to the hospital—does that mean that normal cabs get to install sirens if they’d like? And if so, do I have to paint my Civic yellow to sign up?
Saddam Hussein’s Trial: Kangaroo Court. Am I the only one who just can’t even put into words what a joke this court is? Every time they gather for their monthly singing of kumbaya, something comical happens. Lawyers storm out of court. The defendant storms out of court. Judges resign. The defendant threatens judges in open court. Former US Attorney Generals show up for 5 minutes and then hop on Larry King and tell the world the process is illegitimate. Saddam Hussein is a very, very bad man, and regardless of what you think about the war, he deserves to be punished for his crimes against humanity in a process much more dignified than he is. Isn’t there a little court in Holland that has a bit more experience in dealing with guys like him?
Facebook Ethics: I find it mildly annoying that 1Ls I’ve never met are inviting me to join their Facebook campaigns for the cute SBA offices. If I’ve never met you in real life, why would you think I’d confirm? I mean, at least Facebook me as friend first.

One final note: voting for the hottest US Government Official contest closes Wednesday at noon. I’ll need something to do during Professional Responsibility, so I’ll tally the results then and post them later that afternoon.

Dear Driver of a Blue Dodge Minivan,

2006-01-26T11:11:00.000-05:00

Your “Horse Enthusiast” license plates are no excuse: no matter what you’ve heard, the 250 bypass, while the smallest freeway in the 14 closest states, is in fact a freeway. As such, it is not considered “safe” to drive right to the end of the entrance ramp going at least 50 MPH and suddenly slam on your breaks. In fact, it’s quite dangerous, as evidenced by the large amounts of rubber that I left on the ramp behind you and the fact that my Honda Civic stopped mere inches from your bumper. Somehow I think you know this, since it took you quite some time to get going again – after all, you had to wait for a wide berth (read, absolutely no cars in either direction) to start from a dead stop.

I realize that 250 feels more like a wider, paved horse track than a freeway. To that end, I invite you to take a trip a couple of hours north and drive on a few freeways in the 703 area code. I’m a realist, I’m not asking for a trip to Tyson’s on your first trip. But a trip down Route 50 could do you good. And you get to see some quite pretty granite buildings while you’re there.

Charlottesville drivers, my Civic, and I appreciate your consideration.

Love,
Robin

Nominees So Far

2006-01-25T13:52:00.000-05:00

In the great election of 2006, here are the nominees so far:

Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) -- oh, and he has the added plus that his name sounds like something else.
Rep. Rahm Emanuel (D-IL) -- national debt calculator right on the website. Hot.
Rep. Harold Ford (D-TN) -- well, I guess anyone under 35 in Congress has to be a little hot.
Rep. Stephanie Herseth (D-SD) -- the Midwest farmer's daughter really makes you feel alright.
Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) -- weathering every storm in style.
Education Secretary Margaret Spellings -- who's hot for teacher?
Sen. John Thune (R-SD) and Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV) -- telling the story of college fratboy meets the gang of old, large white men on Brokeback Mountian II: I've Got an Earmark for You.

Have you cast your vote?

Lambs among Lions

2006-01-24T15:28:00.000-05:00

After an interesting back-and-forth e-mail discussion with a friend today, I've decided to ask the readers of Books & Those Who Drink Them the burning question facing a nation at war: who is the hottest of our leaders?

Eligible: any current member of Congress, Cabinet Secretary, Supreme Court Justice/Nominee, the President, and the First Lady.
Ineligible: Barack Obama. He'd clearly wipe the floor with it.

Either post your thoughts to comments, or e-mail me. I'll post the results in a few days.

UPDATE: Per Kaleb's question, the Bush daughters are ineligible. Though they look fabulous on the cover of People and US Weekly, unfortunately, Article II vests them with nothing more than Secret Service protection. Of course, that's true for the First Lady as well, but at least she's got that hot librarian thing going on.

Political News

2006-01-23T12:27:00.000-05:00

1) Things don't look good for the MO-GOP: A new KC Star poll shows McCaskill (barely) beating Talent and Gov. Blunt's numbers astoundingly close to anemic. Bet on the GOP starting new battles over the bread 'n butter social issues in the next few weeks to get those two things fixed.
2) MU Alum and my new Governor Tim Kaine named the wife of his opponent to a post in his administration, Director of the VA Tobacco Settlement Foundation. And they say bipartisan cooperation can't happen in America?
3) In Texas, a candidate for Governor was kicked off the ballot because the check for his filing fee bounced. Is this something out of Leno?
4) West Wing has been officially canned. It took NBC way too long to figure out the obvious: that show can't work without Aaron Sorkin.

The Bottom Half of Law School: Great Expectations

2006-01-23T11:33:00.000-05:00

Well, this is the first one of these that I’ve written in a very, very long time. For that, I apologize – but last semester was the most intense of my entire life, thanks to the job hunt, and I needed break just to chill out. But after a one-week short course on Congress’ tax and spending powers, today begins the new semester and the second half of my law school experience. For me, the story line of the time to come could best be characterized as great expectations.

First, I’m a lot happier around here these days. The job thing has been resolved – I’ll be spending the summer mostly in New York, with a few weeks in DC, at this firm. I’m extraordinarily excited to get to spend some time in New York, a city and culture which I’ve never really explored. Getting the job thing resolved has just lifted such an immense weight off of my shoulders – and has allowed me to stop traveling and actually spend time in Charlottesville. Who knew how much happier it makes you to actually be around?

Second, I’ve got a lot more to do activity-wise this semester – Libel Show and Moot Court at the top of the list. As an undergrad I always let my activities define my experience, but the first half of law school didn’t really accommodate—instead, Property and trips up 29 to DC and flights to LaGuardia called. I simply like having stuff to do outside the classroom—sometimes more than the classes themselves.

Third, and perhaps most important, I have great classes this semester:

Mass Torts: This class has a Debbie Downer theme -- what happens in the event of massive disasters such as a plane crash. It’s taught by the head of the 9/11 Victims Compensation Fund (the guy who literally fixed a dollar amount on every single person killed on 9/11). He’s also Ted Kennedy’s former Chief of Staff. Wow.
Social Security Reform: The title pretty much says it all for me, and it’s taught by the former head of tax policy at Treasury. Yeah, that should be cool.
Evidence and Professional Responsibility: These are two courses that law students just have to deal with. But I’ve supposedly got the best professors for both.
Federal Courts: Whether to take this is something that I really struggled with—it has the reputation for being extremely hard (with a lot of esoteric Civil Procedure and Con Law), and it’s basically the Law Review that’s in class with me. But a lot of it deals with separation of powers and the interaction of the legislative and executive branches with the courts. Plus, again, it’s taught by an amazing professor who is one of the best lecturers in the law school.

So yeah, I’m excited. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I PROMISE I will do a better job of updating things from now on. For your enjoyment, I’ve included a parting song from last year’s Libel Show about Fed Courts – see what I’m getting myself into?

I Will Survive (Fed Courts) (to “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor)
At first I was afraid, I was terrified
Those kids from Law Review were sitting there right by my side
I spent seven hours last night trying to re-learn Marbury
I thought I’d die,
If Caleb Nelson called on me
But he did not, He talks so fast
I was typing for my life, just to make it through the class
I kept looking to the clock
Wondering when I’d get a break
I paused for just a second, Thinking how my fingers ached

Go on now go, you’re in fed courts
Just settle down now,
At least you’re not in torts
My hands are hurting, hope a gunner intervenes
Habeus Corpus? Who knows what the hell that means?

Talk about bad PR

2005-09-19T10:04:00.000-04:00

FEMA's disaster Brownie is looking for a job in public relations. Seriously.

Ex-FEMA Administrator Michael Brown seems to be doing for his career what he did for the beleaguered agency. Less than a week after FEMA's dismal Hurricane Katrina response forced Brown out of the agency, he has been shopping his resume to headhunters and Washington PR firms. And it's not working. "He's radioactive," said one exec. An ally of Brownie in the PR world said he should have waited a month before starting his job hunt. "It's just a bad play."

Useless News & World Distort

Perspective on on-grounds interviews

2005-08-28T11:53:00.000-04:00

As the firm names start to run together, this fun scene painted by Buffalo Wings & Vodka kinda puts it in perspective.

WV: (After knocking.) Sorry I‘m late. I forgot that I even had this interview. I was totally sure that I’d declined it.
Partner: No worries. We’ve already seen thirty other students today, and we stopped caring after number three. I’m Bill, and this is Sherry. Please, have a seat.
Associate: It‘s great to meet you. Also, run away while you still have the chance.
WV: I would, but I just bought this suit yesterday, and I’d like to get some more use out of it.
Partner: No doubt. Sale at JC Penny?
WV: Mervyn’s. Two for 99 bucks. Including shoes.
Partner: Good man. Anyway, after looking at your transcript, it’s obvious that grade inflation is still rampant.
WV: I’d point out that even grade inflation wouldn’t have been enough to save you from landing at this third-rate firm, but since I paid 2L’s to take most of my exams, I’m going to shut up and settle for a nervous laugh.
Associate: It says here that you did some work for the ACLU, which clearly indicates that you’re a homosexual vegan bent on selling marijuana to school children. I’d take this opportunity to tout the firm’s pro bono work, except that it doesn‘t do any. Unless you count getting Bill’s girlfriend out of jail last year. I lead a life of quiet desperation.
WV: That’s not a problem for me. I’d like to avoid helping people at all costs.
Partner: Stellar. Let me tell you a little about our summer program. We strive to maintain a healthy balance between blatantly misrepresenting the amount of work expected of you and totally overselling the two or three perks that we offer.
Associate: Free drip coffee. Yay.
WV: I don’t actually care, but how would you estimate the chances of your firm actually hiring someone with my GPA this summer?
Partner: Oh, roughly the same as Sherry’s chances of making partner before she’s 50.
WV: That bad?
Partner: ‘Fraid so. Any other questions you feel like asking while I try to remember whether or not I set the VCR to record Trading Spaces?
WV: Well, this is probably where I ask a question that makes me seem concerned about the amount of responsibility I'll be given as a starting associate, even though I'd be perfectly content doing nothing but playing Minesweeper and looking at animal porn all day.
Associate: I'm really glad you asked that, because it allows me to make a half-hearted attempt at claiming that I'm given real, meaningful work, when, in all actuality, I'm just a glorified file clerk for whom the long hours of soul-crushing tedium are interrupted only by the occasional suicidal daydream. But the pay is pretty nice.
WV: Nodding to show my thoughtful appreciation of your candor would probably be appropriate here, but I'm much too busy guessing the color of your underwear.
Partner: It's purple.
WV: Sweet.
Partner: Well, I guess that about wraps things up. You'll be receiving a patronizing form letter from us within a week or so.
WV: Great. Thanks for your time. It was utterly forgettable.
Associate: I look forward to sleeping with you.
Partner: We’ll be in touch.

Say it ain't so, Roy!

2005-07-15T17:39:00.000-04:00

Roy Williams: Cheater at kU.

Why I hate tourists

2005-07-11T22:51:00.000-04:00

Frau said it better than I ever could have... LOL!

PS -- there will be a more serious update soon. Lots has happened!

Better stick to politics, Orrin

2005-07-10T15:15:00.000-04:00

I ran across this website today, and I'm truly speechless.

Once again making Missourah proud

2005-06-25T10:09:00.000-04:00

The Justice Department has gone PG-13 again. Yes, the drapes are gone, but the legacy lives.

Update and such

2005-06-18T17:04:00.000-04:00

So, I suck at posting to this thing. In no particular order, here's some of the stuff that's happened recently:

Job is still cool. The vehicle for our proposal has a Senate markup next week, so I am up to my eyeballs in work. I LOVE it though; I'm learning a lot. They are making me register as a lobbyist, which brings with it annoying paperwork and reporting requirements. Sadly, I didn't get a Blackberry, but I did get the Executive Director's DC office (he works from Chicago). It's pretty cool to have a conference table and view of the White House, as well as a larger office than my boss. Talk about luck.
Wrote my first big thing for the political analysis gig. It's an update on all the 2006 Senate races. Comes out next week, so click here to subscribe if you'd like. Or, e-mail me and I'll send you the full file -- who knows how much they'll edit it.
Went (for free) to the Rock the Vote awards dinner. Interesting event -- had John McCain, Barack Obama, Jack Kemp, Terry McAluiffe, the Black Eyed Peas, and Bill Clinton via satellite. McCain is so obviously running for President -- he was openly pandering to young voters. Obama, on the other hand, didn't meet the expectations game for me; his speech sucked. Still very cool to see him.
Jason Graham is back and here for good. So, that's exciting. Last night we went to Adams Morgan, salsa dancing in Dupont, and to Georgetown--all on foot, all in one night. Good times, though I need dance lessons before I ever try salsa again.
Had dinner with Stephen Sugg Thursday. Hadn't seen him in years. We went to the National Democratic Club, which is connected to DNC HQ and extremely fun. It was in the middle of votes on the UN Reform Bill in the House, so tons of Congressmen stoupered in and out to go vote between drinks. Apparently there are karakoe nights where Members of Congress get up and sing. Stephen has promised to take me to those, so that should be fun.
Nick and Stephanie are having a Hoochfest in DC tonight. They are actually making Hooch, and all sorts of Mizzou folks are coming. Among others, Emily Compton will be joining in the festivities. Looking forward to it.

UPDATE: As Frau pointed out, there was no actual Hooch served. So sad. There was, however, plenty of beer, so I still went home happy. Sorry for the inaccuracy. Much like CBS and Newsweek, I had a bad source =).

Capitol Sex Time

2005-05-31T11:28:00.000-04:00

US Sen. Tom Coburn, the crazy conservative from Oklahoma, had Capitol sex ed last week for interns and young staff. Coburn, an OBGYN who got elected by saying over and over that he delivered 10,000 babies while the pro-choice Brad Carson killed them, lectured about the spread of STDs. I can't imagine a more uncomfortable meeting. Then, he had one-on-one counseling after the big show. Best line to come out of that:

"You keep mentioning the word 'monogamy'," a staffer named Roland Foster recalls one young woman asking after a lecture. "What is that?"
"That's when you have sex with only one partner," Coburn responded.
"You mean at a time?"

Washington Post

Happy Birthday to Me!

2005-05-30T11:26:00.000-04:00

The first week of my DC summer is in the books. I absolutely love my job thus far. It’s a lot like ASUM in many respects – they have given me a lot more freedom and ability to exercise discretion than honestly I’m sure I deserve. However, unlike ASUM, we have this silly thing called access. This week I was on the phone with the Legislative Directors of two dozen organizations representing groups as disparate as teachers and governors. And get this: because of office politics totally out of my control, I’m getting my own office with real walls for a summer job. Possibly a Blackberry too—they just have to figure out if they can activate the service for a short time. My co-workers are amazing; the lobbyists are all dynamic people with great war stories of political life in Washington. There’s also a big group of younger folks who work there too. They are a fun crew and love happy hours. I was really bummed that I didn’t get a firm job, but honestly, I can’t imagine a better place to work. We’ll see if I feel that way when I get my first paycheck, but hey, at least I am getting a paycheck.

Had my birthday Thursday… went out with my co-workers to Front Page, a bar in DuPont. A guy from the media relations office knew the bar tender, so all our drinks were free for the whole night. Can't beat that.

Friday Jason Graham came. Went out on the Hill and in Northern Virginia. I learned an important lesson: don't try and do both in one night. I felt like most of our time was spent on the Metro.

Saturday we got Jason an apartment for the summer. He has an amazing spot, on T between 18th and New Hampshire half way between DuPont and Adams Morgan. I have a feeling that it will become my home away from home on weekends once he moves in – talk about close to the fun stuff to do in this town.

That night, it was dinner in DuPont and out at Tom Tom’s, which is my new favorite place in Adams Morgan. A couple of my co-workers stopped by, as did Nick, Sarah, and Tim Elfrink (who is working here this summer). Really cool club. Bottom level has three bars and basically turns into a club complete with dancing and DJ. Top level functions as a much quieter bar, the back of which is open air. After missing the last Metro and having to cab it back to the Hill, we finished the night at Nick’s and made it back home at about 5:30 in the morning. First time I've stayed out that late since college. Really fun night.

What a week. Shawn is supposed to be in town either today or tomorrow after some issues he had leaving Connecticut. Can’t wait to see him. The real question: when can I see you? E-mail me and tell me.

Gotta jet now – off to the free gym at the office. I love the perks of having a job.

Mizzou: the Classy University of the Midwest

2005-05-25T17:01:00.000-04:00

This chair was the winner of Kansas City's "Chairs that Care" contest. Yes, you read that right. There really is a chairs that care contest. It's a good cause, yet I can't help but think that these things belong in Pedro's House of Crap.

West Wing reruns are on local TV here

2005-05-22T23:41:00.000-04:00

DC is the greatest city on earth :)

Robin: World Traveler

2005-05-22T22:23:00.000-04:00

So the little “blogging from” location on the side of this has been lying for the past week. After my last exam on Thursday the 12th, I flew out of BWI to Albuquerque Friday. I spent the day with my folks in Santa Fe for some business. Saturday afternoon we drove up to Pagosa Springs, Colorado. Pagosa, where I lived for about a year growing up, is a small town in the southwest corner of the state, not far from Durango. Located in the San Juan Valley, it’s one of the most beautiful places on earth. Wolf Creak, the nearby ski area, annually gets the most snow in Colorado – and there was still snow on the ground in the high country! The ski area was even still open. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to ski, but it was still incredible to see all the snow. Nothing relaxes me like the sight of mountains.

Then, I spent a few days in Lubbock, watching the West Wing marathon on Bravo and being a bum. Friday, we drove to Dallas, where we had a family reunion for my Dad’s side of the family. It was great to see everyone, and was a surprisingly fun time. While my immediate family is relatively boring, all of my dad’s cousins, uncle, and aunt are HILARIOUS. They also got extremely drunk every night. Watching drunk folks aged 50+ (and two 85+) is quite a show. Good times were had.

This morning we all went out to breakfast, and then I headed out to DFW, flew back to Baltimore, and drove down to the city to move into my apartment. Oh, my apartment. Pluses: it’s EXTREMELY cheap and in a great location (a block from the U.S. Capitol and Cap South Metro). Huge minus: I’m living with a 35 year-old gay man. We’ll see how that works out…

I start work tomorrow. Get my little plastic ID card that makes the building’s elevator work and set my desk up in the morning… tomorrow afternoon it’s off to the Hill to shadow my boss as he makes his pitch to this Senator’s LD. I’ll be on my own by the end of the week. I think it’s going to be fun to work for an organization that, unlike ASUM, actually has access to important DC people; I almost couldn’t believe that I’m seeing someone higher than an LC for this issue. Oh, that reminds me… you might not know what it is I’m lobbying for: my bosses are trying to get student loan forgiveness for public service professional graduates (lawyers, docs, nurses) into the reauthorization of the Higher Ed Act that’s up this summer.

Can’t wait to celebrate my 23rd birthday this weekend. Jason Graham is coming down from NY (and will be here for good starting mid-June, doing an MBA internship in Alexandria), and Shawn Borich is coming from big MO. Fun times will be had by all.

I hate lawyers

2005-05-19T12:14:00.000-04:00

The UM System settled the class action lawsuit against them for charging "tuition" instead of "educational fees" in violation of an obscure circa-1800s era law that said higher education should be free (obviously passed before Holden, Hanaway, and Blunt came into the picture). Anyway, the settlement sets up $10 million in trust for scholarship money for the children of those charged the evil fees. Sounds like a fair outcome to me. The problem:

Under additional terms, Herman [the anti-tuition crusading plaintiffs' lawyer] will get $1 million, plus $17,000 for out-of-pocket expenses...The settlement will set aside $27,000 for the three plaintiffs.

Yeah, lawyers blow. P-D, CDT, KC Star, DigMO.

Entering the outer realm of pathetic

2005-05-19T00:42:00.000-04:00

So Bravo has a West Wing marathon this week. Every episode from Seasons 1-5. In a week when I'm at home. In Lubbock. Where it's 97 in the shade. When I have literally nothing at all to do. After the longest month of my life. Who knew that sitting on my ass felt so good?

Finally on the blogging bandwagon

2005-05-18T00:05:00.000-04:00

Well, it finally happened. I started a blog. I tried to avoid it as long as possible, but I decided that it was very uncool for me to read about the lives of my friends and not return the favor.

First, the big news: I'm a 2L! It's SO AMAZING to be done with law school...at least for a few weeks. As a friend of mine said recently, law school is like unprotected sex: you're happy you got in, but sad you came. That's certainly been my experience over the past few months. On one hand, I'm amazed at what I've accomplished. I've learned more than I ever imagined, and worked harder than I ever thought possible. I know so much more about government and how it works, and have learned a lot about myself.

Yet, on so many levels, I can't help but wonder what the hell it is I'm doing. It's cool that I work so hard, but the best years of my life are passing me by as my face is buried in books. I hear stories about how my college friends are doing--and how great it is to be young in Washington, St. Louis, Dallas, New York, and tons of tiny towns where the broadcast kids are working all across the country.

But I'm here now. I'm going to be in DC this summer, joining my friends from college and new friends from law school and taking a badly needed break. After that, the two years I have left in law school are all down hill...I'm basically a lawyer already. It's amazing that I've made it this far, and in many ways I do have a lot to look forward to.

Chief among these is the new job I have writing the political analysis of the most famous professor in America. I'm told that I shouldn't name famous names on these things (remember what Google did to Kit Bond's Press Secretary?), so if you're curious about who this is, e-mail me. Anyway, the job should be awesome: I'm the head writer of a weekly update on the state of politics that's e-mailed to over 13,000 people. I'm actually getting paid, and I'm hoping that it will lead to something cool for next summer and, ultimately, a great gig when I finally stop being a student. I've always said that my #2 dream job behind being a Congressman would be host of Crossfire, so perhaps this is a good first step. Even if it's not, I think it'll be a fun way to spend the next few years.

Beyond that, my summer job should be pretty cool. I'll be lobbying Congress for these guys, and will be in DC having a great time with my friends. I'm excited. If you're ever there, let me know. I'm having a birthday party over Memorial Day weekend. If you're going to be in the area, let me know -- and if you are in the area and you didn't get an invite e-mailed to you last week, let me know, because I obviously don't realize you're around.

Anyway, keep reading this site for lovely updates about me. Until then, enjoy Star Wars!